Protections and Responsibilities of Marriage in New Hampshire

Gay and lesbian couples want to marry for the same mix of reasons that everyone else does.

• Marriage is the ultimate expression of love and commitment.
• Marriage also conveys a unique legal status recognized by governments and private entities around the world and is the gateway to over 1,000 protections and responsibilities provided by the federal government.

What you may not know is that there are over 399 New Hampshire laws governing protections and responsibilities that are available only to married couples, even though these same protections and responsibilities are good for all families.

Marriage provides a stable family structure in which children are reared, educated and socialized. Lesbian and gay couples take on the same responsibilities as other couples, but they are denied marriage rights.

Experience tells us that gay and lesbian families need the same legal protections, the same legal framework and the same responsibilities as other families. The denial of marriage rights to lesbian and gay couples hurts families and children and advantages no one. Below is a small sample of the rights that are denied gay and lesbian couples in New Hampshire.

Protections and Benefits of Marriage that Cannot be Replicated

Medical/Health/Illness -- Without Marriage:

• Lesbian and gay couples are not automatically entitled to medical decision-making powers and hospital visitation rights when his/her partner falls ill;
• Gay and lesbian partners residing in the same New Hampshire nursing home do not have the right to share a room even though married residents have that right;
• Protections for families of crime victims, including the right to notice and information, to testify at sentencing and parole hearings, and to receive mental health services are not available to a gay or lesbian partner; and
• Lesbian and gay couples lack access to family health and auto insurance policies.

Death -- Without Marriage:

• The surviving gay or lesbian partner is not entitled to protections such as taking a forced share of the estate; staying in the family home through transition protections; receiving allowances from the estate to meet current expenses; and being allowed to retain personal effects, personal property of sentimental value and the right to drive the family car;
• Surviving lesbian and gay partners are denied automatic inheritance rights, along with spousal preference for administering the estate and taking care of a loved one’s remains;
• A surviving gay or lesbian partner has no way to ensure that his or her partner’s desire to make an anatomical gift is fulfilled if opposed by the partner’s next of kin;
• Partners of police officers and firefighters who are killed on the job do not have access to line of duty benefits;
• Gay and lesbian partners cannot automatically receive wages due a partner at the time of his or her death;
• Gay men and lesbians do not have standing to bring claims of wrongful death or loss of consortium when a loved one’s death results from wrongdoing.
  

Divorce -- Without Marriage:

• Lesbian and gay couples are not entitled to legal protections upon the dissolution of their relationship, such as equitable division of property based on both parties’ contributions to the relationship, access to counseling services or training programs, or the possibility of partner support.
• If the couple has children, there is no automatic system for deciding on adequate child support as well as custody and visitation based on their best interest.

Family and Economic Stability -- Without Marriage:

• The partner of a worker injured or killed is not entitled to dependency benefits from the worker’s compensation system or accidental death benefits from the retirement system;
• Gays and lesbians retiring under the New Hampshire Retirement System cannot provide their pension to their surviving partner, though married retirees can;
• Gay ane lesbian couples cannot obtain tax and homestead exemptions available under New Hampshire law to the same extent as married couples;
• A lesbian partner is not automatically deemed to be the parent of the child born to her partner and cannot currently participate in a second parent adoption with her partner.
• Gays and other unmarried prospective parents are prohibited from entering into surrogacy arrangements.

The list is long, numbering hundreds of protections granted by the State of New Hampshire and over a thousand by the federal government.

Responsibilities of Marriage

The above-mentioned rights and benefits are accorded to married couples on the understanding that they will be mutually dependent and support one another throughout their time together. The law enforces these mutual obligations.

• Duty of Support: Married people are responsible for each other’s support as well as the necessary debts of their spouses, including medical bills. In addition, when a married woman gives birth, her spouse is automatically responsible for child support.
  
  
• Commitment to Remain Married: Once two people marry in a civil ceremony, they cannot undo their marriage without first obtaining the state’s permission. The commitment to remain married, and the stability and continuity that provides for families and society, is the major reason why the government provides married couples with extensive legal, social, and economic protections.